I love learning what makes people tick and when I learn about others, it often leads to my own ah-ha moments that help me learn more about myself. I’ve just started reading a book about how people are influenced: The Influential Mind by Tali Sharot. It turns out that one of the key aspects of influencing others is to give the other person the ability to have a say. We all like to have options and feel in control.  Sounds obvious but it isn’t what we regularly do in the business world. It got me thinking about my own New Year’s resolutions…..

1. Don’t take everything so seriously! While I try to find the humor in most situations, I am the tortured comedian…working out my issues with comedy. Seriously…I am a stringent rule follower and a stringent rule follower is typically very serious. My only difference is that when I am following the rules, I may in fact be making fun of them.  Still, I need to lighten up when things don’t go the way I want.
2. Let go. I find that it has taken me many years as a business owner to work through this. I like to hold on. I have only recently learned to better delegate and let go but it hasn’t been an easy journey. I have a great team that has patiently worked through this with me. Yet as the book (see reference in first paragraph) shows, it isn’t the best way to influence my team. The more I let go, the greater chance that the outcome will result in an organization that is better than ever before.
3. Be an optimist! Not sure that will ever happen…ugh…ignore the last statement. Deep down, I know that I’m an optimist but I also know that I protect myself through pessimism. If something doesn’t turn out the way I had hoped, I won’t be disappointed if I already thought it wouldn’t work out. That being said, I am a closet optimist because I always work every angle to make it work. I need to drop the pessimistic language around my actions. It sets up my team and everyone else to be able to dismiss the actions I’m attempting to create. Pessimism is not the best tool for motivating!
4. Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. I find that we have gotten to the point where we are too quick to judge other people’s actions or their beliefs. Walk in someone else’s shoes is an old saying and perhaps a forgotten saying. Learn to listen more.  Learn to withhold judgement until you understand someone else’s position. Talk more to people (face-to-face). The written word (email) will never convey what a face-to-face conversation can.
5. Go out and play more. Get off the computer and go have some experiences. I have always been a believer that experiences are worth more than things. I may not remember all of the details but they cobble together to make a better me. Meeting people, talking to them and experiencing different cultures other than my own helps me to gain a deeper understanding of who they are and why they are different.
6. Work Life Balance. This is not a resolution as much as it is the fact that I’m an evangelist in this space.  I did a relatively good job of balancing work and life years ago when I had my first child.  My resolution is to get out more and share my story.  I believe that we put too much pressure on ourselves to “have it all” and I will share some stories that might help some people learn to prioritize. In 2018, I have resolved to become a better communicator. I want to listen more, share my story and Peritius’ story and blog more.  Anyone that knows me will tell you this will be a challenge.  Yet as a new found optimist or “wanna-be” optimist, I will work my butt off to make that happen.

In 2018, I will continue to get out and create experiences.  Learn more about people.  Call my friends more.  While an increase social media activity will be an additional part of my 2018 adoption for work, I will pull back on Facebook in my personal life even more.  I’m going to use that time to “go play outside.”